You'll Never Know
by paggle14
Summary: He's been feeling this way for several months now. 'Feelings' doesn't seem like a strong enough word for him, but will he pluck up the courage to tell her how he feels? Or will his genius brain get in the way? Oneshot


**A.N - This is the first fic I have written in an extremely long time, so I apologise if it is a bit awful! **

**Disclaimer - I don't own CM. Though if I did, I'd be one happy bunny!**

He watched as she crossed the conference room, the way her heels clicked across the carpet as she walked, the way her skirt fluttered around her thighs, and the way her small, delicate fingers would tap against her sides as if she was singing to herself in her head. Her beautiful golden hair fell around her shoulders, and with each movement, stirred the air and caused her scent to fill the room. Her deep, saphire eyes scanned the room for any other mess she needed to clean up - she knew it was the Cleaner's job, but she felt sorry for them having to clear up Hotch's mess.

Though she was exhausted from the case, she still looked beautiful, there was no denying it.

Finally taking pity for the exhausted blonde, Spencer Reid stepped into the room.

"Need any help?" He asked, causing her to jump as though someone had poured ice-cold water down her back.

"Oh! I didn't realise you were still here," she excalimed,"why don't you just go home?" She questioned.

At this, Spencer pressed his lips into a hard line, deciding on the best way to breach the topic that had been on his mind for several months now. But, instead of bringing it up, he decided to avoid the _true _cause of his discomfort, and create a better, more acceptable conversation.

"I planned to go home and watch the five hundred and fourty eighth episode of Star Trek, but I broke my VCR" he replied. Her lips twitched in amusement. She should have known. After all. It _was _Spencer Reid.

Reid noticed this. Of course he did. He was an FBI profiler.

"Damn," he thought to himself, "I meant to start a normal conversation!". Though he shouldn't be surprised. Whenever he was around this breathtaking human being he could never manage to keep his genius brain in check.

"Oh, I thought your 'genius brain' would know how to fix that" she replied teasingly.

Reid's stomach did a backflip. God she was so stunning when she pulled that face. Mind you, she was stunning all the time.

"We both know I'm no good at machines" he said, "that's more Morgan's forte".

"Why didn't you ask him to fix it for you?" She said, seemingly interested.

" I just missed him." Reid replied simply.

She nodded her head gently in reply as she cleared away the last of the coffee cups. The room fell into a comfortable silence. Well, to any onlooker it would seem a comfortable silence. But Reid's brain was screaming at him to just tell her. If he did not do this, if he did not inform her of his feelings...

The word feelings made him shiver internally. It seemed so... _Cliche. _What he felt for Her was so much more than 'feelings'. He loved her, he was sure of it.

Finally, when he could take it no more. He decided. He was going to do it. Even if it killed him. It was do or die.

"Listen, JJ, I-"

"Spence, I'm-"

They both giggled, though Reid laughed awkwardly and JJ just plain giggled.

"Sorry Spence, what was it you wanted to say?" She questioned. For a moment, Reid was transfixed by the way her perfect lips moved. He quickly jumped back to reality.

"No, its fine, what were you going to say?" He said. JJ smiled. She knew he would do that. He would always try and deflect attention. Always.

"I was just going to say that I'm about to head home, so... Have a nice night," she said, "now, what was it you wanted to say?" She asked.

Reid battled with himself. He _so _wanted to tell her, so badly, but he was convinced that it should be done properly. Not just blurted out. But he knew he would never work up the courage to tell her. It really was now or never.

If he told her, this would go both ways. She could say she returned his feelings, but there was a 78% chance they would split up within the first eight months. Or she could say she did not return his feelings, and he would be left heartbroken. Either way, things would become awkward. So he had to decide. Now.

JJ watched him quizically. She had asked him a question five minutes ago, only to gain no answer. He was obviously arguing with himself again.

"Spence?" She asked, bringing him out of his internal argument.

"Great," Reid thought to himself, "I've gone and made this even more awkward for myself." He knew that if he told her now it would not have the desired effect.

So many times had he tried to tell JJ how he felt about her, but his stupid brain would always get in the way.

"Nothing, JJ, don't worry" he said "I can't remember anymore".

JJ laughed.

"Alright then Spence, goodnight." She smiled, walking gracefully from the room. Reid stared shamelessly at her as she walked away.

He kicked himself. He ruined it for himself. But, he guessed he knew he would never work up the courage to tell her how he felt.

He, Spencer Reid, was irrevocably in love with JJ.

But she would never know.

**AN - so what did you guys think of poor Spencer's dilema?**

**Sorry if its a bit short, I wrote this out quickly on my phone as it came to me, so I have no real way of knowing the length of it! That's also the reason there may be some spelling errors - I wrote this so quickly as it popped into my head, and my phone doesn't autocorrect!**

**Please review and show your love for Spencer and JJ!**

_X_


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